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Dexter's Birth
- 4/14/09
I have always had a terrible fear of needles.
I also wasn’t too fond of hospitals, so pregnancy was
exciting and scary all at the same time. I was eagerly anticipating
the birth of my son, but terrified of the birth--not because
of pain, but because of being poked and prodded with who knows
how many needles. I watched those birth storied on TV religiously,
and they certainly didn’t help…until I came across
one show that was at a Miami birthing center. I couldn’t
believe how calm and happy they made birth seem. Then my dad
said he had a movie he thought I should see, The Business
of Being Born. Whoa. After seeing that, I worked hard to convince
my husband of an out of hospital birth. I was a little scared
myself of a home birth since we lived in the middle of nowhere
and well, it seemed like a really scary way to go. What if
something went wrong?! I didn’t tell my husband though
and fought for the homebirth so that we can reach a compromise
and go with the birthing center. We toured and I knew that
it was perfect just because it was not the hospital, so we
switched to the birth center an hour from our home when I
was 24 weeks pregnant.
When I was working one Monday morning, laptop on my lap on
the couch as I usually did to stay comfortable while very
pregnant, I had this feeling like I had peed my pants. I called
the birth center and they said that I should come for my appointment
a little early since I had an appointment that afternoon anyway
and they would see if my water had broken. I called my husband
and off we went (Of course we kept our packed bags in the
car and had the car seat installed for the past 3 weeks….).
We got there and the midwives did three tests to see if my
water had indeed broken. The first two they said could be
false positives, but they said the third would really determine
if it was amniotic fluid. They looked under the microscope,
and 4 midwives argued back and forth about what they saw.
Ultimately, they decided that my water had broken. I was 2cm
dilated and had no contractions. Since I was GBS+ and lived
so far away, they said they would start the IV antibiotics,
I could leave and have lunch, then I would just come back
and try to get labor started. After 20 minutes strapped to
the IV, they sent us off with a bottle of castor oil to go
have lunch. We had a nice relaxing lunch, wandered around
a few stores aimlessly, then got some chocolate shakes (mine
spiked with the castor oil) and went back to the birth center.
My friend joined us there and my mom was on the way. We played
games and relaxed waiting for labor to progress, taking walks
around the block whenever the midwives instructed me to. They
also had me drink grape juice with black cohosh in it to help
things move along and continued with the IV every 4 hours.
Soon, contractions were every 4-5 minutes, lasting 30-60 seconds
so I thought things were going well. My mom arrived, and we
continued our walks around the block, relaxing on the birth
ball and playing games in-between.
There was a nursing student at the birth center that asked
if she could be there for my labor, and I agreed. The midwives
sent her in whenever I needed more black cohosh, IV, or if
they wanted me to exercise. She came in around 4pm and explained
that since they determined that my water had broken at 9am,
I needed to be in active labor by 9pm so I couldn’t
play games or relax at all. At this point, they had me going
up and down stairs two at a time and going in the bedroom
with my husband for nipple stimulation. They checked me again
around 5 or 6 and I was at 4cm. The midwife noticed when she
checked me though that my bag of waters was intact. She said
she was just going to break it to move things along. I trusted
that she knew what she was doing and agreed. After putting
on a diaper I went back to bouncing on the ball, doing stairs,
walking around the block, and everything I could to move labor
along. Things moved along very quickly after my water broke
and the contractions became a lot more intense as I laid in
bed through the contractions. I didn’t even notice time
passing. At one point while my husband was holding my hand,
I turned and said I think I might throw up. Before I could
get the whole sentence out, I did. A few times. It was probably
an hour or two later when the castor oil worked it’s
magic, but I was already in active labor and having painful
contractions while having to make very unpleasant trips to
the bathroom. The midwives checked me again around 10 and
said I was at 9.5cm and had a lip, so it was time to get the
tub ready. I got into the tub and after a few contractions
they said I should try to push. I trusted that they knew what
they were doing and pushed through each contraction. The midwives
said I was not pushing properly and that I was going to harm
my baby if I didn’t push him out effectively right then.
I felt very discouraged. Over an hour passed, and I was getting
tired. They said I should go empty my bladder and so I got
out. They had me push on the toilet as well, then walk around
doing high steps and squatting (we called them sumo steps…)
and squat and push during contractions. I was in a lot of
pain and getting very tired. They wanted to check me again
so I got into the bed and let them, and I heard them whisper
back and forth that maybe I moved back up a station and I
was still at 9 and a half and maybe the baby was stuck…I
felt awful. They told me to try to stop pushing and just lay
in the bed for awhile. I started crying and saying I just
wanted the baby out as quickly as possible. I was exhausted
and didn’t think I could do it and didn’t think
the baby would be able to get out at all. My friend was holding
my hand and saying she knew I could, but the midwives seemed
so discouraging. They called the back up doctor and had him
get ready because they wanted me to go ahead and transfer
to the hospital.
My husband, mom, friend, and the nursing student piled into
our car with me and we rode to the hospital around 3am. The
midwives followed behind us. I just remember gripping the
seatbelt and crying and being in a lot of pain on the way.
I don’t think I opened my eyes during the whole ride.
We got there and I was taken in through the emergency room
and put into a wheelchair while they rushed me up to labor
and delivery. I kept my eyes closed. There was some argument
with the hospital staff about not being able to take our whole
group into the labor room, but we must have won because we
were all in there (2 midwives, the nursing student, mom, husband,
and my friend). The back up doctor’s nurse met me in
the labor room and reinserted the IV and demanded that I needed
to be checked. I was resisting everything they wanted to do
and kept telling everyone to not touch me. I wasn’t
winning though and I still kept my eyes shut and just wished
it would be over soon. I gripped the rail on the bed while
I lied on my side and quietly pushed through contractions.
It was the only way to make the pain less. I could feel my
baby moving at this point with each push and it felt really
good. I could hear people talking to my husband about options
for sedation for a C-section. He approved the epidural and
soon the anesthesiologist and OB arrived. I still wouldn’t
let anyone touch me, but still was losing. The anesthesiologist
student gave me an epidural while explaining step by step
what he was doing. I kept trying to get him to not tell me
what he was doing since that was probably the most terrifying
procedure in the world to me, but he still did. People were
filling the room pretty quickly, wandering in from the hall
to see the birth. I still kept my eyes closed. The anesthesiologist
finished up and the OB came over and flipped me on my back.
He checked me and said the baby was crowning and I could deliver
him. I knew I had been making progress because I had been
feeling him move as I pushed. The doctor put the vacuum on
his head while I screamed for him not to and he pulled my
son out in minutes. He was born at 4:56 AM. I felt searing
pain and was screaming. My mom and friend were crying. They
took Dexter away and the nurses checked him and cleaned him
up with my husband. The doctor delivered my placenta and began
stitching me up. The vacuum had caused lots of 2nd degree
tearing. Finally, they brought Dexter over to me and I was
overjoyed. As the doctor stitched me up, I could feel the
epidural kick in. He asked for more thread a few times and
gave me shots of pitocin to stop the bleeding.
When he was done, the room cleared out and it was just my
husband, mom, friend, and baby Dexter. I was holding him and
so happy he arrived. My friend had to leave to go check in
at work and take the day off, and my husband and mom fell
asleep on the couch. I was left alone with the baby, strapped
to the bed with an IV, blood pressure cuff, epidural, catheter,
and pulse ox monitor. I didn’t get moved to a regular
room for a few hours, when they finally came in and removed
everything strapping me down. It was a few hours before a
lactation consultant came by to help me because he wasn’t
breastfeeding. She determined that he had a tongue tie and
I could use nipple shields to get him to latch and feed. A
neonatologist clipped his tongue and talked with us about
tongue exercises to do with him. I was very upset that I had
been unable to have the birth I had hoped for.
Charlotte's Birth
- 11/4/10
After the birth of my son didn’t go the
way I had hoped, I was determined to have a dream birth with
my daughter. I decided on a homebirth since the birth center
and hospital were such negative experiences before. I also
decided to take Bradley Method classes so that I would be
more prepared and confident, and not so reliant on others.
I had been having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks
leading up to labor and was at +2 station. On Wednesday, November
3rd, the contractions were pretty regular so I thought that
it was finally time. I had my husband, Doug, drive home from
work (he works over an hour away and I was convinced that
he wouldn’t be home in time unless I called in early
labor). We worked on refinishing the rocking chair that I
thought I needed to have done before my baby would arrive.
The contractions never got more intense though and I slept
through them for the most part, waking up a few times hoping
they would get stronger only to fall back asleep. The next
morning Doug went to work.
When my son woke up, I had my mom come over to help me out
and be with me since the contractions were continuing and
felt stronger. I called my midwife (Jill) at 9am and told
her that the contractions were getting a little stronger,
and she said she would come by around noon to check me. I
called my husband and told him, and he said to let me know
what Jill said at noon. I told him to get home before she
got there and he agreed.
At noon, Jill and Doug arrived. She checked me and said I
was 2cm dilated, +2 station, and 60% effaced. I was extremely
discouraged. Jill apologized and said maybe she shouldn’t
have told me that I was only 2cm. The contractions were 5
minutes apart and though I couldn’t really tell when
they started or stopped, when they peaked, they hurt a lot.
The peak was only about 15 seconds though and I felt fine
in-between so I told myself I could make it through. The midwife
said she was going to go ahead and go home since it could
be awhile. My mom took my son out with her while she ran errands
and my husband suggested that we get a few movies since we
might have a long way to go and it would help me rest. We
left to go to the store and rent movies. I knew I was fine
to move around as long as I stopped during the peak of each
contraction so I timed my movements to and from the car accordingly.
We got back home and started watching. My mom took my son,
Dexter, to her house for his nap. I laid down on the couch
and was in some sort of state of sleep, waking up during each
peak and falling asleep in-between. At 3:30, I reached the
peak of another contraction and felt a pop. I knew my water
broke and told my husband. He ran around the house in a frenzy
trying to find the ‘right’ towels to bring me,
and I told him where to go. I wrapped up in a towel and decided
I wanted to take a shower, so we paused the movie to tend
to labor. He called the midwife and our Bradley instructor,
Melissa (who we planned to have attend) and let her know that
my water had broke. While I was in the shower, my husband
inflated and filled the birth tub. When I got out I laid on
the floor hugging the birth ball while he made the bed according
to our instruction sheet. When he finished up, I decided to
try laying in bed. That was a bad idea. I was suddenly in
a lot of pain. I asked him to help me move to the toilet so
I could sit there and see if it hurt less. He called the midwife
back and told her he thought things were moving along and
maybe she should get there. She said she was on her way already.
He called Melissa again and said it was time. I sat on the
toilet and the peak of each contraction was a lot more painful
and the contractions were closer. My husband told me to relax,
stop tensing my hands and feet, and picture red 7s. I told
him to please stop talking. The contractions hurt a lot and
I kept telling myself I could survive the peaks and I would
get a nice break. I was trying to convince myself I could
make it through a long labor.
I decided that I should try pushing during the next contraction
since the pain was getting hard to relax through. I did, and
reached down…I felt her head bulging! Doug didn’t
believe me and I made him reach down and feel also. He immediately
called the midwife back and kept her on speakerphone. She
said she wasn’t going to make it in time and that we
would have to deliver the baby without her. Doug sprang into
action and said I needed to move to the tub since he didn’t
want me to have the baby on the toilet. He helped me get to
the tub before the next contraction. Luckily they had spaced
out a little at this point so I could run there. I got in
the tub on all fours. I pushed during the contractions as
slowly as I could so that I wouldn’t tear. I told Doug
‘counter pressure!’ because I wanted him to put
counter pressure on my perineum. He pushed on my lower back
thinking I meant I was in back labor. I splashed him and decided
I should take things into my own hands. After three pushes,
her head popped out. The midwife instructed Doug to check
for a cord, and he reached down and felt an ear and got excited
before I splashed him so that he would go away again. The
next push, her whole body came out and I caught her and pulled
her up to my chest. I started crying tears of joy and could
not believe she was there and the birth happened so quickly
and easily. The midwife said over the phone to rub her and
make sure she let out a good cry, so I did. Doug ran to get
some clean towels to wrap us in. My mom walked in with my
son right then to find me holding a baby. She was shocked
that she left us watching a movie on the couch and came back
two hours later to a baby! Charlotte Emma was born at 4:45pm
and was 6lb 14 oz. Doug helped me get out of the tub while
I held onto the baby so that he could get us into bed and
dry off before the afterbirth. I tried my best to not push
during contractions so that the placenta wouldn’t deliver
until Jill arrived, but it became a little too painful and
I pushed it out anyway. I was scared that I would start bleeding
excessively or something and suddenly really wanted Jill there
(I was a little happy that no one was there before to check
me or tell me what to do up until this point). Finally, Jill
and Melissa arrived around 5:15. Jill checked me and the baby
and all was well. She helped Doug cut the cord and made sure
breastfeeding was going well (she latched immediately and
was a strong nurser!) I got 5 or 6 stitches but otherwise
everything went perfectly. Jill, Melissa, my mom, and Doug
cleaned everything up and made sure Dexter was cared for while
I bonded with Charlotte. By 6:30, Jill and Melissa were gone,
I had a shower and clean sheets, and my parents brought over
dinner. I was so glad I fought for a homebirth and now my
husband and I would not plan on anything else!
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